Love is an all-powerful thing. It is light, energy, power, and the force within you. It is life and a way of life. Yet, it shifts and shows up in many faces and shades and rarely looks like how we usually think it always should.

Eight Faces of Love

“If you do not have the capacity to love yourself, then there is simply no basis on which to build a sense of caring toward others”. –Dalai Lama

According to Howard Thurman, “Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale… Love loves; this is its nature“. Love is a peculiar word which is known to every living being but it occurs to me that we can categorize this love into types. We may call it Agape, Amour, Amore, whatever it is, it simply soothes our heart just pronouncing it.

I have learned love in Charlotte Bronte’s words “I have for the first time found what I can truly love– I have found you. You are my sympathy– my better self– my good angel– I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my center and spring of life, wrap my existence about you–and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.” ―, Jane Eyre (1847). The way she described love was so pure and unconditional.
I have a growing urge inside of me to search for it further. My search ended when I came across ancient Greek literature which described love into eight different types. They are mentioned below.

Ludus in other word is known as playful love or infatuation. This love is the first kind of love we see as teenagers. Most of the readers of this article have at least once come across this kind of love in their lifetime. Remember your sparkly eyes after getting one glance of that special one. The way you lit up when their name came up in any discussion. According to a study, our brain acts the same as if it was on cocaine.

Eros, named after the Greek god of love and fertility means a romantic, physical or passionate form of love, often expressed through sexual desire and passion. The Greeks considered this type of love as dangerous. No doubt it is the result of passion and desire but still human can lose their control in this form of love. Even these days, people have a strong belief that this kind of love happens within a fraction of a second but it is not to be for long.

Pragma means enduring love which is just the opposite of Eros. It is the love that has grown and ripened for a long period of time, unlike Eros which tends to burn quickly because of its intensity. We often see some old couple and think that they have traveled together for long. These couples endure pragma. This kind of love is rare to find in this fast society as this love needs time and patience to get matured. In this kind of love both the partners need not put a lot of effort. All they need is a little compromise and put each other’s happiness first. I must say if you ever find this love don’t let it go.

Philla or affectionate love is what we usually feel for our friends. Greeks argued that this love is far better than Eros as in this kind of love, people consider each other as same. While most of the Greek considered this love as a romance but Plato an Athenian philosopher argued that Philla doesn’t need any physical attraction and often this love is called love without sexual act or platonic love. We all have this love in our life.

Storge or familial love means instinctual or natural love. It is the love that our parents and we have for each other. Have you ever wondered why your parents or your siblings love you no matter what or who you are? This is because of the instinctual love they have for us. This love is somewhat like Philla without sexual act but there is a strong bond and familiarity in it. We all are blessed with this love in our life.

Agape or unconditional love is what we have for someone where we don’t expect anything for loving them. It is a true form of love which is selfless. This love is in some religion is compared to a spiritual love of god. God has selfless or unconditional love for all human beings, he suffered for humans to get rid of their sins.

Philautia, we may call it self-love. From my experience love for oneself is important in keeping all your relationship intact. if you are not satisfied with yourself you can never give love to others as they deserve. Loving yourself will also make you immune to depression. Others can call this love as an act of selfishness but I say not, we can care for others only when we can love ourselves.

Mania is the last form of love and also the most dangerous form commonly known as obsessive love. In this form of love, a person becomes possessive or jealous or extreme in loving the other person. If you yourself have some of these symptoms in your relationship, you should think over it as in the long term this love is going to harm you or your significant other. This love is governed by the fear of losing someone or obsessing over someone. If this love is not controlled or taken care of in time then it can take a destructive turn.

So now readers you decide what kinds of above-mentioned love have you experienced. I hope this article can help you out in distinguishing between the various kinds of love you have in your life.

Degree of Thought is a weekly community column initiated by Tetso College in partnership with The Morung Express. Degree of Thought will delve into the social, cultural, political and educational issues around us. The views expressed here do not reflect the opinion of the institution. Tetso College is a NAAC Accredited UGC recognised Commerce and Arts College. The editors are Dr Hewasa Lorin, Dr. Aniruddha Babar, Noyingbeni T. Erui, Meren and Kvulo Lorin.
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